STRAIGHT TALK FROM GOD ABOUT SEX AND MARRIAGE

Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray. (Proverbs 5:20-23 ESV)

My devotional reading this am landed me in this passage of Proverbs that is a "Straight Talk From God About Sex And Marriage." People can handle this passage in two different ways - 1) They can seriously take heed to its words or 2) They can ignore its warning and decide to do what they want to do in the regards to sex.

Much of my life has dealt with the brokenness of the later which has caused brokenness in personal lives and has even destroyed many families. Yes, God restores and heals and forgives the past but the scars of past sins are very difficult to ignore and push away.

This eye opening chapter deals with a delicate subject daringly and with great directness. It is this: Physical intimacy was created by God for marriage and is a spiritual act and experience. Lust on the other hand is only physical and is a perversion of God's great gift of love.

In contrast to much of what we read, see, and hear today, this passage urges couples to look to each other for lifelong satisfaction and companionship. Many temptations entice husbands and wives to desert each other for excitement and pleasures found elsewhere when marriage becomes dull. But God designed marriage and sanctified it, and only within this covenant relationship can we find real love and fulfillment. Don't let God's best for you be wasted on the illusion of greener pastures somewhere else. Instead, rejoice with your spouse as you give yourselves first to God, then to each other.

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. (Proverbs 5:15 ESV)

"Drink water from your own cistern is a picture of faithfulness in marriage. It means to enjoy the spouse God has given you. In desert lands, water is precious, and a well is a family's most important possession (where rainfall is scarce and deep drilling techniques unknown). The cistern collected rain water and could store any over flow of a well fed by a spring. 

In Old Testament times, it was considered a crime to steal water from someone else's well, just as it was a crime to have intercourse with another man's wife. The reason is because the offender is endangering the health and security of family.

Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? (Proverbs 5:16 ESV)

Solomon compares enjoying married love to drinking pure water from a fresh well, but committing sexual sin is like drinking polluted water from the gutter or sewer. Sex within marriage is a beautiful river that brings life and refreshment, but sex outside marriage is a sewer that defiles everything it touches. To commit sexual sin is to pour this beautiful river of strength and goodness into the streets and the public squares. What waste! If you "drink deep" of the wrong kind of love (7: 18) it will contaminate and destroy your energies and life.

The commitment of marriage is like the banks of the river that keep the river from be waters within the banks, and this produces power and depth. Extra marital and premarital affairs don't satisfy because they're shallow, and it doesn't take much to stir up shallow water. A man and woman pledged to each other in marriage can experience the growing satisfaction that comes with love, commitment, depth, and purity.

Verse 17 emphasizes fidelity. Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. (Proverbs 5:17 ESV)

Husbands and wives need to fulfill the deepest needs of each other. When this is done the reasons for looking to fulfill those needs outside of marriage is drastically lessened.

Willard Harley is his book His Needs, Her Needs, lists man and woman's five most basic needs.

The man's five most basic needs in marriage tend to be:
1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational companionship
3. An attractive spouse
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration

The woman's five most basic needs in marriage tend to be:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment

Verse 18 teaches the blessings and joys that life-long fidelity will bring. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, (Proverbs 5:18 ESV)

Don't just provide food and clothing and refrain from injuring your wife by word or deed. This does not discharge a man's responsibility nor satisfy her heart. Communicate your love and reassurances verbally, with behavior and endearing remembrances. Express to her caring, protection, love, loyalty, commitment and faithfulness. Affirm her personality and beauty specifically. Most of all forget about fulfilling yourself in marriage and concentrate on fulfilling her. As you lose your life on behalf of your partner the miraculous biblical promise comes true that you receive new life as you give up life (Mt. 10:39).

We are to have an ardent, joyful love for our wife. If you will skillfully draw out from the cistern God has given you by fulfilling her needs you will be letting your fountain be blessed and find great rejoicing.

Two women were talking one day. Said the one, "does your husband believe in life after death?" The woman shook her head sadly and responded, "My husband doesn't even believe in life after supper."
How long has it been since you did something to put a little spark in your marriage? How long has it been since you did something together that was just fun?

Solomon says "rejoice in the wife of your youth." Just being faithful is not enough. You also need to be fun.

Peter Marshall is reported to have said that a happy marriage represents the highest halls of human happiness. Is it not wonderful that a human institution that can cause so much joy is commanded by God?

A well-known celebrity, whose marriage has withstood the stresses of fame, was asked, "Have you ever been tempted to commit adultery?"Without hesitation he replied, "Why would I want to go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?"

Rejoicing in marriage means finding pleasure in making one's spouse happy. It means giving positive support so that he or she has a greater opportunity to enjoy the abundant life that Jesus promised. 

Rejoicing in marriage means finding enjoyment. Rejoicing in marriage is practicing an attitude that develops ever-increasing pride and delight and joy in one's marriage partner.

As you read through v. 19 you will see the exhilaration of marital faithfulness and the blessing that come with it.

V.20 talks to the issue of Adultery - (sex outside of marriage).

Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? (Proverbs 5:20 ESV)

Lust is like drinking water from a sewer and will always bring sickness to your soul.

For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray. (Proverbs 5:21-23 ESV)

Whether you are married or not - God has set boundaries for all our lives. He knows what is good for us and what isn't. Our lives are always before Him and looks at the paths that we follow in our life. Remember this... "we will die for lack of discipline." Those are strong words that all of us must heed to and give attention to. May God help all of us in this regards to walk in the disciplines God has set before us always and that our lives (married or not) would always bring glory to God in all areas of our life.